I have always said if I was to birth a child whether it be a son or a daughter that there would be a lot of things that would stop doing and certain things I would not do and participate in anymore. To me becoming a parent means you are now responsible for raising a child up in the right manner. Which means you have to stop being a child yourself in order to do so. You can’t be a child raising a child, that’s leaving room for disasters to happen and leaving room for your child to not get the proper teachings needed for a healthy environment to grow on a positive note. That is also adding to that old saying the blind leading the blind. Note that when I say “child” I’m meaning having a childlike mindset not necessarily being young in age. I could be here for days on the things I always said would end when parenthood began in my life but we are going to focus on one specific one that pertains to being a safe haven for children as a parent.
I noticed many things growing up early that I should not have even been around in the first place. I was exposed to what I would say, way too much for the young age I was at. But that early exposure led me to having a mindset of change for myself and setting goals early for what I wanted to do and what I did not want to do once real adulthood hit when it pertains to being a parent myself. The main negative exposure I noticed from other parents early in life is how much they would use their children as a venting source with consistent gossip about others. I have a strong belief that “the one who gossips to you on a regular basis also gossip about you to others regularly”. This is something that I don’t want my child to feel. I don’t want any children that I birth to believe that they can’t disclose private information with me when it’s needed the most because they have heard me disclosing other people’s private information for entertainment to them.
See to me gossiping has very slippery slope of negativity attached to it.
Yeah you may get a kick out of discussing other people’s matters but it comes with an expense as well. When you begin to speak on the matters of others in a negative way, you’re actually showing others that you can not be trusted with anything. Especially information. It’s not cute. It’s not attractive. It’s just down right draining. The more you gossip about others around your children, you’re exposing them more and more to a toxic and negative environment. It teaches them that it is alright to speak on other’s business but also teaches them that it is alright to judge others and that judgement leads them to become bullies towards other children and even other adults in their adulthood.
I want to continue being my child’s safe haven. My child’s safety grounds.
I want my child to always know I’ll never use their personal matters as a source of entertainment for people that don’t really care about either one of us. That time used to gossip and speak negativity over other’s lives will be time that is used to give my child great advice. To give my child love. To help my child with what they may need help in with no judgement. Above all, that time can be used to help my child build the dreams that they may see for their future.
Breaking generational chains starts with me & my generation of parents.
How do you enforce being a safe haven for your child or children? Leave your thoughts in the comment section at the bottom of this post.
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