DE Foundation · The Purple Crown Project

The Purple Crown Project – True Love Does Not Hurt

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Real and true love does not hurt at all.

I don’t care what anyone else tells you, real love doesn’t hurt at any time during the duration of a real relationship. This is not to say that you will not have problems or mishaps within the duration of your relationship. No one is perfect by any means. Everyone and everything does go wrong at some point and time. But for you to purely hurt throughout your entire relationship is a sign that you may be in an abusive one.

The point of being in any form of a relationship is to bring one another happiness and be supportive. If your partner is not providing either one of these things then it may be pointless of being in that particular relationship, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is abusive however. What does make a relationship abusive is if these feelings of hurt are prolonged and fed upon deliberately by your partner.

If you tell your partner that something they are doing or saying is hurting you and they continue to do that same thing over and over again, disregarding what you’ve told them, then that is abuse. A healthy person with a healthy mind does not intentionally hurt other people, especially not their significant other, husband/wife, or girlfriend/boyfriend. If you tell your partner that something they are doing or saying is hurting you and they not only continue that very same thing over and over again, but they also laugh it off or claim that you’re being sensitive or overly dramatic then you are definitely in an abusive relationship. They are abusing your feelings more than anything which could be your very first sign or hint of trouble later to come. Anyone who cares about you in the first place would never disregard or discredit anything that bothers you in a negative way.

I believe we as women often times see the good in too many things too soon including relationships with other people. We often times see so much of a good thing that has potential that we disregard every single negative sign that is being shown to us regularly. There has come a time in our day and age where domestic violence at the hands of a man has increased so much that we have now accepted some forms of abuse, and some of us women have even become abusive ourselves after being exposed to so much abuse by our own partners at times. Things have become so bad that society has even accepted emotional abuse as a norm in the process of getting to know a potential love interest, or just something that happens from time to time in a relationship which is wrong completely. No form of abuse is alright nor is it normal. No form of abuse is a way to “build” a healthy and functional relationship. Abuse does not make you a strong person nor does it build character for a healthy relationship with anyone.

It has come a time where we as women should stop disregarding the blatant signs that are being presented to us upfront before moving forward to pursue anybody whether it be a man or woman. It is time we all start opening our eyes, call a spade a spade and face reality. It is time for us women to start embracing real love again and not these poor excuses for it in the forms of abuse.

For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.

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